"My Friends Call Me Forrest Gump"

"He's like a pebble at the beach that lets the waves of life just wash over him"

"My brother's a pile. My younger brother. Well, I only have one brother"

"Hampton doesn't use the stairs. Elevator."

Damon: "Is that Hectard burning shit again?"
SF: "No it's me burning this Triumph gear box cuz it sucks"

"Someone got crazy with the Scotch-locks"

"To own a Triumph you have to realize... you like a lady that just keeps fucking you over all the time. You're a masochist"

"You can spend a million dollars and it's still a Triumph"

"I can't wait until 4 o'clock tomorrow. Crust Friday from 4-6"

"What's up with those striped pants dude? Your brother and everyone in the band should wear those. If I owned this shop I'd make everyone wear striped pants"

"This is why it took so long. You can't rush excellence"

"I like when your tools are all over the place. They're easy to find and put back where I found em"

"I don't even make out with my chick in public. I don't want some dude grabbin my ass"

"That's what surfing to me is like. Going to a gay bar"

"Bring it on dude! If you're gonna give me one pile of crap bring me 10"

"What a weird week. Crackheads everywhere. At the same time"

"We're getting good at polishing turds. We're even making the TAPE look good"

"Jack doesn't like his butthole messed with"

"Parents are always pulling their hair out. I go 'You left it in there for that second or 2 too long dude"

 "My friends call me Forrest Gump. I have a story for everything. And they're all true"

"What an amazing day- crank calling Ian Mackaye, crackhead chicks coming in to give you 300 bucks! Where was Pete on that one?"

"When I'm reading a schematic I'm already half lost. Now they're gonna throw some Italian in there"

"Sean's the ringleader in the Circus. He's got a bunch of clowns running around. I'm one of the biggest ones"

"Something is not right with you dude"

"Something is not right with you dude" (said to SF, after the first quote post)

Hampton: "Don't be fooled- all these 'beard guys' are really Hipster Emos underneath. I might have to start confiscatin' beards."
SF: "Oh you mean like when the Skinheads used to razor blade punk kids' laces to steal their steel-toed Docs? You gonna start carrying cordless clippers around?"
Hampton: "Exactly- Lots of Emo kids walking around with beards these days"

"Best thing about this bike? The tank badges also work as fork stops"

"He won't like those bolts. They don't have any patina on them"

SF: "Shredded wheat shreds."
Hampton: "Says right on the box"

"We're reminded we're WT by the school my son goes to. It's all bitches in track suits and fake jugs"

"He was like 'I can't do this beat for 5 minutes!!' He was getting all mad, gettin' that Fader anger out"

"I need to make a sissy bar dude"

SF: "I hate ACDC"
Hampton: "You're fuckin' fucked up dude!"

"Somethin's not right with yo ass Spalds"

"You're gonna ruin Chubby Chaser. She's gonna start bringing in granola and yarn"

"Like when I cut my daughter's umbilical cord- it squirted shit all over the Doctor's face"

"The 400 dollar torque wrench can't compete with my pythons"

"I'm about to get balls deep on Brad's Bonnevilles"

"This is straight 1986 skate boarding right here. Except the label is too new and it would be a glass jar with a metal top. Nachos would be next"

"The dumbest thing that guy said was 'You know anyone looking for an Iron Head?' Usually you only get one when somebody dies and gives it to you"

"Sorry about the side-titty call. That goes against fat-guy ettiquette."

"Some dudes just don't make good fat guys"

Hampton: "Does your mom know you hump chicks in the butt?"
SF: "I don't know. I guess I could ask her"

"I never fuckin' go to Norm's dude!"

Get The Cookies. Hampton Edition

"You're fuckin' crazy! Both you motherfuckers"

"I don't eat Euro cookies dude"

"I look like a hillbilly in a flannel"

"I look like fuckin' Santa in a red flannel dude"

"What the fuck are you eating now? Yarn?"

"I'm sick of this fuckin Honda!!"

"Oh fuck! Look what I found!! Rice Crispy Treat"

"We should make an RTL Bathroom check in on Facebook"

"You've been hanging out with too many kitty-cats and eating yarn"

"Fuckin cats sleep all day, then you go to bed and it's a mosh pit"

"I went scuba diving once, but I got scared"

"Come on Spalds you're jammin' me up! I'm about to drop one!"

"Ballmetal was still in the Hansons when this came out"

"I liked Youth of Today when they still cussed"

"You didn't get dumped, you got cheated on. There's enough cock to go around"

"We can't get Barry to play the organ dude"

Hampton: "He's from Buffalo like Larry.
SF: "I don't know what that means"
Hampton: "It means he's from Hesperia dude"

"You definitely got something wrong with you Spalds"

"Have you ever took it out and pooh starts flyin?"

SF: "The wind keeps blowing the dirt in here"
Hampton: "It blew Brett in"

"If she wants her butt plugged she knows where to come dude"

SF: "How about some trail mix?"
Hamper: "That shit's kryptonite dude"

"Hey don't worry about it white man"

"I was puttin' creamers in and this dude's staring at me-- I'm like 'I know this shit's gay'.... I shoulda got myself one"

"Crunch some of these Hav-a-chips up and use on that salad like croutons"

"There's so much shit wrong with those bikes, I'm running out of room to write it down"

"It always comes around with buttholes with you dude"

"When you build a bike with 3 different types of bolts, it's like playin' the game Memory. Or a Rubik's Cube"

"See if you can get tickets to Monster Jam..... Kids wanna go"

"So you're telling me if I was single, I'd have chicks buying me cookies and shit?"

"Dudes think diets are a complicated mystery. Instead of eating cookies, eat nuts!"

"You don't gotta worry about that container of cookies anymore dude"

"Tell that chubby chaser she isn't allowed in here unless she's got cookies and candy"

"She ain't goin' to Sims with cookies and candy bars dude!"

"You can't claim Grand Terrace unless you've done a stage dive off the piano"

"Fat guy's gotta eat"

"That's hippie candy dude"

"That's all beard hair in that hair brush"

"I wanna do a band with Erba"

"You want some real rock n roll on? I mean real, not that emo shit"

"Man people are fuckin' weird around here"

"I've never done so much nr work ever"

"I hate when they turn the Haunted Mansion into that Nightmare whatever. Shit's gay"

"These chicks don't know me cuz I'm not driving around in a BMW"

"Did I ever tell you when I got in a fight at the Lynyrd Skynyrd concert at the fair. But I got a better one when I got in a fight at Bob Seger with my mom there and my mom and wife fought some chick"

"Keep your toys off my toolbox this ain't no chopping block"

"That was a gooood burrito dude. A seafood one with spinach and shit"

"What the fug is this music. Space music??"

"Lohman needs to take his bike home. Tell him John Joseph rode it in Purple Rain"

Nazi Zombies

"Being white trash isn't something you strive for..." -MarcIE to SF

"Lowlifes fuck the best"  -MarcIE

"You should ALWAYS be an angel SF"  -Mrs Helf

"Good to the last pump" -QVC, about face cream

MB: "You're Sean Fader, man about town hahaha"
SF: "Man about town hahahahaha yeah I'm 36 and just got froyo while looking for Tron on dvd"

SF: "Fuckin space ships dude!! Oh fuck!!! Fuckin monoliths!!!!!!! From 2010
SF: "Shit. Dude if I could paint I would do a 2010 monolith painting right now"
Pratt: "Monolith?"
SF: "Dude!!!!!! Weed cloud doesn't know it?"
Pratt: "I think you get the weed cloud for the day"

 "They should make it so you can butt-pound the zombies" -SF



"I'm just picturing him sitting home alone in his feet pajamas" -Mrs Helf

"I don't want to know what's on the inside of your ass" -Mrs Helf to SF


"What did you do to make him want to nose rape you?" -SF


"You wanna go on a poo poo walk?" -Tard Bob

"This is what happens when I'm at home and don't want to watch TV. Half elephant, half great white, all butt" -Helf

"Pratt's Tipper Gore that likes to touch dude's dicks" -SF

"Your porch is racist right now" -Pratt to MANsion

"Well you could have come with MarcIE and I to fix his van, play with a black widow, and hit the gun show on the way home" -SF to Mrs Helf

"You're usually making out with chicks that are married or have a boyfriend. Of course they feel weird." -SF to MarcIE

"Gotta stay fresh in your sky whip" -Helf

"I love that your page is just naked chicks and chocolate" -MarcIE

"I'm gonna grow another dick and do both your holes" -SF

Mrs Helf: "I don't even know what PHD stands for."
Steve: "Pretty Huge Dick"

"On the girls shirt we can put "I got tooled at RTL-MOTO" -Lisk

"Dude you know that she would just put on a strap on and make you call her Bubba" -Helf

"Well if you walk in with your eye makeup streaked down your face and then you take an hour long rape shower, don't worry you won't have to talk about it we'll already know what happened.." -Helf

Above SF's toolbox:
"These belong to SF. These are how he makes money and keeps your bikes tuned up. If you fuck his tools, he'll fuck your girlfriend with them"


"Just sayin, jizz everywhere, ass beads in the fridge, etc" -SF to MDB

"I'm shocked that it's not sexual or gross. That part is really throwing me off. You and Marc as Mr and Mrs Claus!!! You will obvs be Mrs Claus" -MDB to SF, RE: our Xmas card

"Figure out what to charge to rent me out to all your friends" -SF to MDB

"Buying shit when you're broke, my specialty" -Helf

"Not my type?? Dude when I was 14 I had a mohawk and a nazi skinhead GF!" -SF to SS

Pratt: "They were just pulling stuff out of this chick"
SF: "You gotta imagine a woman that fat, must have the hugest ass cavity, from all that poo flowing out of it"


Pratt: "I look gay with a flash"
SF: "Yeah cuz you don't look gay with a baby ice cream cone"

Pratt: "I'm gonna have a "I didn't die" meal soon. Fuckin hungry from sitting in the hospital"
SF: "Fuckin burritos, mac n cheese, anus, etc"
Pratt: "Anus sounds nice."
SF: "Pound it"
Pratt: "I didn't die" anal rape

(What are you doing tonight?)
"Going to my mom's to pick up a vibrator" -MarcIE

"No, but I found a box full of old bras, a throwing hatchet and a luchador mask" -MarcIE

MarcIE: "Isn't there a motor in the attic or some shit?"
SF: "No it was in the closet"

"You wanna get a suck off this?" -Helf to Mrs Helf. Pretty much any time

"What other car could I be in that dudes are talking seriously about neon money?" -SF

"Am I gonna get fingered if I sit next to this guy?" -SF

"You and your single moms" -MDB to SF

"If you meet him and he's nice to you, he doesn't like you" -Lisk about SF

"No I'm not sending a picture of my dick to my Gramma" -SF to MDB

"Shut the fuck up Donny!!"

"Are you serving vaseline shooters? Bottoms up"  -Helf

"Hey since you like drives into nowhere and spacing out and stuff, ...." SF to Pratt

"What food doesn't look like vomit?"  -SF to Mrs Helf

SF: "I wasn't in your crew of sleazes."
Joey G: "But you were the Godfather"

"Fader sets the bar low, so ours seems high"  -Tyrealm

"You're like an interesting puzzle. All sorts of weird tattoos, cool bikes, and cuddly cat photos" -AS to SF

"Come on dude, I'm not always battle axes and chain saws"  -SF to Reid

"Only when he's around his brother do the most disgusting things come out" -Aujah to SF, about Barry

"This chocolate makes you want to jerk off" -SF to Pratt

"Cool nerd means smart, but not into school junk. Likes Sci-Fi but also motors and punching shit. Would watch all 3 "Rings" movies then go out and do brodies"  -SF

"Now THAT'S a chick that will toss your salad"  -SF to Pratt

"10 more minutes big boy and you're almost 40"  MarcIE to SF

"Spit is the devil's lube"

"Life is like a box of buttholes"  -Helf or SF

"Didn't your mother teach you not to drive a chariot in the house?" -SP to SF

"So there's a mad jacker and a dude bones an 11 year old boy. And everyone is depressed life. Eh, that's like every day for me" -SF

"Oh ok. I just assumed you were becoming sketchier than you already are" -SB to SF

"The way I do it girls don't get pregnant"  -SF

"Well, I would never hammer anyone on purpose...." -SF

"You pooping while I'm ordering food sucks" -Pratt to SF

"I like my coffee white" -SF

"Dude I fuckin swear your dad is pumping odor-less weed through the heating system in your house 24 hours a day" -SF to Pratt

"Where I grew up. Makes sense. Also makes sense that Fader grew up on Cornwall....." -MarcIE

 

"Wow! He really does say shreds a lot!"

"Ya I'll get some yogurt, Luke is here getting his hair cut and I didn't want to be the tool in the other room working out"  -Helf

"Dude if big thunder mountain was too dark for your camera, what made you think it would work on your pepè" -Helf to SF

"Yeah, I would get made fun of for walking out of the house on a Saturday night carrying controllers" -Helf

"Those tacos del carbon are so good. I pretty much have to eat them on the toilet"  -Helf

"Tell her thanks they were really good, Disney land, cup cakes and the new Rambo; it was a solid night.
The orange ones were awesome, seriously just as good or better than any cupcake place, the peanut butter ones were really good too, but the orange ones are jizz worthy"  -Helf

"I'm socially retarded, and even I got married"  -Helf

"Loose lips" were never a problem aboard Cap'n Crunch's ship, as drinking and talking were rare aboard the USS Palate Shredder."  -Helf

"Dude I was wearing my daisy dukes and ultra deep v-neck when I asked the firemen to "help" me and the only thing I got was a shovel to the head and a dog bite from their inbred dalmation "sparky". Girls have all the luck." -Helf

"Strangely enough picking up a weeks worth of dog poop that's been through a monsoon is not as fun as it sounds.... ... ..."  -Helf

"Commitment to vanity: 55 degrees, sun going down, looks like it's gonna rain any second, and yoked dude is still cruising shirtless down the blvd. making sure every passing motorist knows how swoll he is" -Helf

"SF: Steve how's my driving?
Helf: dude..... Out of control
SF: no way!! I didn't swerve once!
No, but you were doing like 90 thru the curves"

"I Got called, creep, a mess, out of control, perv, got told I was going to get punched in the face a few times, all within the same hour" -SF

"If he needed the salt I feel like a real ass, because I went all Stevie Wonder on him and just looked at different parts of the ceiling for a while" -Helf

"Strangely: Yo Ho Yo Ho a 9 to 5 life for me, just doesn't sound as adventurous to some people, I guess they've never felt the thrill of filling out production schedule... Take that Pirates, you parrot toting freaks." -Helf

"You pretty much naturally talk to chicks like you're picking up on them" -Pratt to SF

"YOU IN MY GIRLS CLOSET?    you're toeing into a pit of snakes...might want to watch that first step, amigo Tell me now, you want a shot of reality, or a sippy glass of bullshit. I can sugR coat shit, or i can tell the truth...you pick. Remember I like you. U r real. I protect u for a reason. The truth hurts more than most homies can handle...most times. I've got problems with you, Ryman. As much as i want to crush you into my soul...i still feel the need to protect you. Tell me if we need a sit down mano/mano. If you accept me once and.for all, or never to be, that's fine. I DO NOT SAY THIS...I love you little bro. Let's lift this bitch off the ground, or burn on liftoff. I'm havin' a moment...i invite you in...p.o.bro B-)@" -Rick (Pratt's birth dad)

"Who invited June to the party? All she ever brings is bugs and gloom. She's basically a weird overweight goth chick that's invited places because she has hot friends like July and August... ..." -Helf

"No, you aren't the weird guy. You're the guy that takes it too far"  -MarcIE to SF

"You can't change who you are, but you can change the way you behave" -Tard Steve Rem

"Ur life is like every little boys dream" -MDB to SF

"Every boy wants to be Sean Fader when they grow up" -MDB to SF

"I don't live in the past, I just remember it better than most" --SF

"You're every woman's nightmare" -MDB to SF

"What else would I ask a guy I've never met that sucks dicks for a living?" -SF

"I don't understand how you're so little and you eat so much"  -Unknown to SF

"When are they going to come out with a car named Blumpy?"  -Pratt

"Dude! I just leaked!"  SF or Pratt?

"Keep in mind it's 1:43am and we're in the living room playing with guns" -MarcIE to SF

"It's good to have weird feeling things in your mouth sometimes"  -SF

"If you learn to speak Italian 100 percent fluent I'll never be dry again. Not that I have that prob with you" -MDB to SF

"I am the lion. You can control me 23 hours a day. But the remaining hour I rape, kill and eat" -SF

"I would've shaved down the manifold, infused it with carbide, torqued up the injector and installed the jbx12 flux capasitor but that's just me. I mean you're doing what you can and I commend that." -Helf to SF

"Only penis themed tattoos right? "Ooh you want a butterfly, that's too bad cause all yer gettin is a dick with wings" -MarcIE

"Is very pleasantly surprised by Mike Judge's newest movie "Extract", and my man crush on Jason Bateman continues to flourish If his pee pee could deliver witty dialog in a believable way I would totally check out that show..."  -Helf

"Whack crew? If you consider a dude that wears eye shadow, a Norse god that drinks wine and then gets lost on his bike, an angry 16 year old looking 35 year old that loves cornholes, a dude that wears a blue tooth to scream at 12 year olds when they kill him in a video game, a dude that drinks Capri suns in strip clubs, a beautiful girl covered in tattoos that does kick boxing and firefighting, and a girl that is constantly hit on by dudes but is considering going on e harmony because she "can't find a guy", a whack crew then that's on you......"  -Helf to SF

"The Bluetooth = the thin line between being labeled sane or insane by me as I watch you have an animated conversation with the empty chair in front of you. In an Ontario fast food joint the ratio is about 1:1" -Helf


"Fader's favorite snack" -Helf

"To the old Asian dude in the gym with a mustache, weight lifting gloves, sun glasses, and croakies, doing incline presses with your legs spread eagle against the mirror: I love what you got going on; but other people might think you give off the creep vibe a little too strong...." -Helf